030 - Photographer ICKS...

Ever feel overwhelmed by the wedding industry’s trends, client expectations, or just the little things that make you go "ick"? Join Alex and Grace as they peel back the curtain on the industry, sharing their personal pet peeves, honest thoughts, and insights into navigating the chaos with humor, depth, and authenticity. This episode is a mix of silly candidness and deep guiding principles... because even professionals need to laugh AND learn.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:00

If you're like not inhibiting my shot, like if you're holding it in the aisle, ick. If you're in my way or like kind of over my shoulder, even that's kind of an ick. Like, let me do my job. Like you're getting the same thing I'm getting, but yours is gonna be worse than mine. So, like kind of ick, I guess, ick. But like if you're like I think I post it. Sweet. I posted, but I had a ceremony and the bride had a bunch of family there. And they were all shooting during the ceremony, and they were not in my way. They like weren't, I purposely two of them, because I thought it was cute and sweet. They weren't in my way, they weren't even in my shot. I wanted to start a podcast for creative entrepreneurs.

SPEAKER_01 0:39

So I asked Alex to join me and I said, stay less, I'm in. Welcome to the Stay Less podcast, where we actually say a lot more about motherhood, creativity, photography, business ownership, and everything in between.

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We are your hosts, Alex and Grace, and this is a space for creative women building something meaningful. Whether you're raising babies, raising your rates, or just trying to figure out your next bit.

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We talk about all the real stuff. What's working, what's not, what we're unlearning, what nobody tells you about building a business that has to fit inside of real life.

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SPEAKER_01 1:15

If you've ever felt like you're creating in the margin of your time, your energy, or your confidence, you're not alone here. Say what? Let's get into it.

SPEAKER_03 1:27

Okay, guys, today's episode. I I'm already laughing. I this one's gonna be so unserious. This one is absolutely so unserious. And we just got done recording one that was like meaty and good and nitty-gritty and uh I think valuable for our listeners and for vendors and for brides. And this one literally is we just were like, let's just let's just lighten our load. Let's just uh let's just take a load off and like be a little bit kooky crazy. This this episode doesn't have a title yet, but we're going to go through our ick list. Yeah. The things that give us ick as photographers, yeah. But also what we see other photographers do that kind of gives us the ick. And uh yeah, I just don't want this episode to fall on deaf ears because this is totally just silly goofy. So we're not thinking about anyone specifically, we're not referencing any brides, and just because you do it doesn't make it a general ick. Correct. So yeah, no hate. There's a lot of new yeah. Thank you. Thank you. But it's like it, this is just our personal because we have this platform, we can ramble it if we want. But here's the tiny chaos moments that we are pretending don't bother us. We have to pretend don't bother us, but they absolutely, absolutely do. Here's my number one. And this is like it changes day by day. But like when we were last week, last week Grace and I had a shoot uh with some gals, and we sat down and had lunch together after, and we like went through a couple. So this is coming from like a collective of ladies that have uh sticks to say, but mine right now is it I just went through this with you. But it's like when I'm getting people ready for a shot and there's like a bunch of people, and they're like, what are we supposed to be doing? What are we supposed to be doing? What are we supposed to be doing? And I'm like, I'm literally just trying to get like everyone in the photo, and then I will tell everyone what to do. And it's mainly large wedding party, which is not my favorite part of the day. It gives me the ick. Don't ask me what you're supposed to be doing. Do you think I'm not gonna tell you? Just like zip it up. I'm about to tell you. Just like zip your lips, I'm about to tell you. That's my number one ick right now. Oh man.

SPEAKER_01 3:38

Kind of to piggyback off of that. I a big ick for me on wedding day is like rude or drunky drunk groomsman. Because you can still, well, you can still be like, you know, heavily drinking and still be kind. Yes. So maybe it is emphasis on like the rude or like sarcastic for any reason at all. Any reason at all. And and there's no reason, and that's an ick.

SPEAKER_03 3:59

An ick that I have, and this is a this is a personal ick. That's what I'm saying. It's like this is not gonna be, people aren't gonna be like, yeah, relatable. I have a boundary of not texting me about like stuff that's important. Okay, yeah. Like if it's shoot related or photo related. Like I I love making friends with my brides. I love like a you know, quick text message about something you saw on TikTok or something that you loved, or like, thank you so much, or just whatever. But like if it's it, if it's checking in about something or like needing to schedule a call or wanting to, if it's business related, don't text me. That's an ick. Because I have like set that boundary from the start of don't text me. And it doesn't like irritate me or make me mad, but like you're guaranteed, you're almost guaranteed to not receive a text back because I have my hands full and I'm gonna open it and I'm gonna forget about it and I'm gonna forget because I'm like, I'm not able to text you back when I receive it. So I'm like, that gives me the ick because I set the boundary of like, don't text me anything important. Ick. Ick. And actually, one more while I'm like already on this ramble. The like, how are the photos coming along? Egg. That's an ick for me. That's an ick for me. And I'm sorry that it's an ick for me because I feel like that's normal. But yet again, back to my boundary thing, I always set the boundary of this is when you'll have your photos. You've already had a sneak gallery from me. Even if you do a regular session, I usually set a sneak peek of like a handful of photos, no matter what. So like you know how they're coming. You you've first of all seen a little bit. And second of all, you know when I'm gonna deliver them. So you know. That's why you're asking me that's an ick. Yeah. Ick. And that's actually a hot take. And I don't mean to like offend anyone, but like I do, I can I think I can speak for every photographer. Yes. If someone reaches out and hi, I'm just really excited and I want to check them out my photos, it's an ick. Yeah, yeah. It's a bad ick. Yeah. And if if if you've done that and you're listening to this, I'm sorry, not sorry, ick, ick. Ick, ick, ick, ick, ick, ick. I don't know, but it like it, it makes me feel stressed. Yeah. It makes me think like, oh my god, I need to hurry. But it's in the same breath, it kind of makes me like irritated with that person. So then I'm like, now I'm annoyed with you while I'm editing your photos. And I I'm like, this is like maybe not coming off right, but like it really truly like it it gives me the ick because it stresses me out.

SPEAKER_01 6:20

Yeah, no, I totally agree with you. I agree with you. So that's an ick. Um, I'm gonna do one for on wedding day. So I think you know, there's a lot of venues that pride themselves in like certain spots that are like most photogenic and people like it, and like the in-person ambiance is there and it's like good for the moment, but it does not photograph well. And so it's like if you know somebody is like dead set on taking a picture there, of course. But if like some aunt of the groom is like, this is a really pretty spot over here. Do you want to like do this picture over here? And in my head, I'm like, that light is terrible. The lighting is terrible. That's it, that's an ick. I think it just when like people don't trust you, it's kind of an ick.

SPEAKER_03 6:58

Yes. Yeah, okay. Just about exactly the same with that. Did you get that? Did you get that? Did you get that? Yeah, do you know how many times in 10 years I've heard, did you get that? And you got it. Or like, and I already got it 10 minutes ago. Or more so, usually for me, I don't know when this happens for you the most, but it happens for me at the reception a lot. And it's like, I've been right here walking all the way around for two hours. Yes, I got that. Yes, I got that. And I don't mean to like sound rude, but it's like I'm serving the bride and groom. So I'm keeping my eyes on them and like seeing what they're doing, and they're like random cousin doing like this a little disco dance, and someone be like, Oh my gosh, did you get that? I'm like, ick. Like it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Like it, like that just wasn't that important. Yes, first of all, I did already get that. And second of all, it's just like not that important. So why are you like bothering me with that? Ick, ick. Oh my gosh. Bat wait, what was the other ones that like Angel and Emily had on their list too? What camera do you use? What camera do you use? What camera? Yeah, yeah. I've seen you get caught in this conversation before. And like, you know that I'll just like step away from it because I'm not trying to like engage in combo this long. Yeah. And I don't mean to.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Well, it's usually when I'm second shooting, which good for you, I'll take it. Exactly. I'll have the conversation with Uncle Bill. I know. I'm not.

SPEAKER_03 8:15

I know.

SPEAKER_01 8:16

You know, and usually he's like a hobbyist photographer and he photographs birds with like his extra zoomy lens. Yeah. It's it's great. It's great. I don't mind it unless I'm a lead photographer. If I'm your second, then I'll like it.

SPEAKER_03 8:29

It's really only it's really only an ick because like it's not really relatable, and then like we're usually kind of hustling. So I'm like, it's kind of like a time ick. Like I just don't have the time for this. Yeah. So I'm like, it's kind of an ick because like I'm busy. Yeah. I guess. That's not really an ick for me either. So I get that. Here's another one that's this is like a common ick. And I think we talked about it when we were at lunch last week too, with the gals. Another one that like people are always harping on to is like phones during the ceremony. That's not an ick for me.

SPEAKER_01 8:58

It's no, it's not. And I was gonna say too much. I'm not bothered by that. Even an actual camera with a family member, as long as you're not tagging, as long as you're not like, well, as long as you don't have flash, and also like you're not tagging me on social media, like you work for me or something or whatever. Like, I don't care. I don't care. Yeah, if you're not in my way, I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 9:17

Yes. If you're like not inhibiting my shot, like if you're holding it in the aisle, ick. If you're in my way or like kind of over my shoulder, even that's kind of an ick. Like, let me do my job. Like, you're getting the same thing I'm getting, but yours is gonna be worse than mine. So, like kind of an ick, I guess. Ick. But like if you're like I think I post it. Sweet. I posted, but I had a ceremony and the bride had a bunch of family there and yeah, older gentlemen, like a couple grandpa's and whatever. Yeah, and they were all shooting during the ceremony and they were not in my way. They like weren't, I purposely took a photo of them because they thought it was cute and sweet. They weren't in my way, they weren't even in my shot. Not an ick for me. Yeah, not an ick.

SPEAKER_01 10:00

I imagine them sitting like in their little rocking chair at the end of the day and like not having a clue what Facebook does or like where the photos were posted, and they're just like flipping through their phone, looking at pictures they took of their granddaughter's wedding. Like it can be so sweet. It can be sweet.

SPEAKER_03 10:13

No, I think it's sweet. I do, I will say it when people are like recording too much on their phones during a wedding. Yeah. That's kind of an ick for me. And I'm like, outside of weddings, like when people record an entire concert on their phone, I'm like, ick. Like I just like don't want to be doing it. Yeah, just like the constant like overuse of cell phones at weddings, yeah, is kind of an ick for me. I'm like sit and enjoy it. I I will think back to like one moment. I I don't I this is gonna be a specific wedding, but like they know about it, and like we've laughed about it since then. But it was kind of when the trend of dedicating the bouquet to the mom began. Yes. Um, I'm sure you've seen it, and like I've seen it a couple times now. I think it's super sweet. I was shooting for this bride that was really sweet. You weren't there, Angel was there, I know for sure. But I was shooting for this bride who I've known for a long time, and she was getting ready to dedicate her bouquet to her mom, which was obviously a surprise to her mom. And her mom was miss. I'm recording everything on my iPhone. And I don't know why. These are family friends, so like I feel okay to say this because whatever. And I was encouraging her multiple times throughout the day, like, put your phone down, like enjoy the moment. And I, she was living her best life, she was having her best day ever. She was like loving watching her daughter, and like it everything was good. So I'm like, I I'm I know that this is okay to say, but like she was recording it on her phone, and her daughter was about to dedicate her bouquet to her, and I was like taking the pictures, and I was over there going, Because I'm like, let's play it. Pass your phone off, pass it off. Like, I was trying to capture, but I was like, You're about to miss this moment because you're recording on your phone, and that's an ick. And like people are like obsessed with recording on their phones, yeah, on wedding days, and I'm like, there's a whole we there's six of us. We got two photographers, two content creators, two videographers. We got it. Set your phone down and enjoy.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

And enjoy it. An ick that I have for myself, but also on your behalf, is when the photographer at the reception becomes the photo booth. You take a picture of the bride and groom with a couple of friends, the bride and groom leaves, and then there's like a line of people waiting for you to take their photos in that same spot. Like, should have bought a photo booth because clearly you just wanted it to bother. Oh my gosh, that's such a good thing. Because then you're missing moments with the bride and groom.

SPEAKER_03 12:28

Okay, I wanted to, so I actually I think we talked about this, but I actually Googled on Reddit and um I was reading through like a I was reading through a Reddit thread and I'm gonna read some of them. Okay, but I'm like, some of these don't really apply to me. So let's give it a yes or a no. Okay. Oh, okay. The first one already does. Okay. Don't worry, she'll fix it in Photoshop. No, I won't. That's in it. No, I won't. Take your Apple Watch off. I'm not gonna edit that out.

SPEAKER_01 12:51

I'm not gonna edit it out. I'm not. There are some things. I mean, if if the bride talks to you about like this, that, and the other, and it's fixable. Yes, 0.2 seconds. Yeah. Yes, absolutely. But no.

SPEAKER_03 13:01

But like the phrase is an ick.

SPEAKER_01 13:03

Yes, for sure.

SPEAKER_03 13:04

I'm like, you can fix it right now. So why are you talking about me fixing it in Photoshop? That's a lot of work. That's a lot of work. Timeline already behind before you've unloaded your gear. This was this is from the Reddit thread. That's an ick. It's an ick, but it's like, I feel like when I think about ic, that's more so like stuff that you can control. Yes. And I'm like, sometimes that's just like out of your control. So that's like not really an ick for me. It is an ick for me as like as soon as I walk in, usually I'm about to pee my pants. Like, usually I'm like an hour plus in the car and I'm like about to pee my pants. And I come in and like they're waiting at the door. And it's like a bridesmaid or something, and like, like, we've been waiting. And I'm like, no, no, no. I'm 10 minutes early and about to pee my pants. That's an ick. Yeah. So I'm like, the stress as soon as I walk in the door, that's an ick. Yeah, for sure. That's an ick. Groom vanishing right when portraits start. That's not really an ick. I'm like, and I I'm like, it is what it is. That's not really a nick for me. That's not my problem.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

He probably went to just go get a drink and got caught up with somebody chatting.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

Yeah. People talking while you're actively directing them. That's not really a nick for me. I'm loud. I'm louder than everyone. So take charge. That's not one for me. Someone put on here that they hear often, we didn't think we needed that shot after the moment is gone. We didn't think we needed that shot. That's never happened to me. No. That's never happened to me. I'm like, okay, I guess that happens to them like a lot. Maybe you're like that photographer's like overshooting. Maybe Uncle Bob photographing over your shoulder. I already said this. Yeah. If you're not in my way, I love it. It's cute. It's sweet. And I'm gonna get a photo of you photographing your family. Cute and sweet. Yep. Maybe just because like I still have my grandpa that I'm very close with. I'm like, if he was doing that, I would love it. So I'm like, and I would want that captured if I was the bride. So I'm fine with it.

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Over your shoulder, ick. There's plenty of times where family is like right behind me during family photos. Like and so the ick is that I have to ask them to move, but at the same time, like you can still stay behind me and like take whatever photos or have conversations with so and so, but I just need to back you up.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Everyone missing or suddenly needing food or bathroom breaks during family photos. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_01 15:14

I don't know that that's happened to me so much, but like with little kids, with like we're missing the Flower Girl and the whatever. Yeah, people having to go chase other people down because they didn't stay. Yeah. If they've been told it's family photo time and they're not there, that's an ick for me. Yeah, we'll get it. And it's only that point is like we'll get it at reception. That's what I want to say.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

But then we're not doing it right now. It's an ick for me because like it's a hindrance to the day for the bride. And then like I'm feeding off the energy of the bride, being like, if she's looking at me like I'm sorry, and I'm like, I'm fine. Like I'm fine, but I'm like, I'm mad for you, and I'm sorry for you. So like ick for you for me. It's a secondhand ick. That's a second hand ick. I really have like kind of gotten to the point in my business where I like I don't have that many icks anymore. I mean, like, I just like said mine and then like I agree with some of these that are like common on Reddit, but I'm like, I have a lot of clients now that like are just right in my alley and like nothing surprises me anymore. And I don't have too many icks, I guess. Yeah. Like those really are mine. I guess my overarching ick is like my boundary being broken because I feel like I'm good at from the from the get-go, even before you hire me, you know what I'm about. Yes. You know what I'm about. And I'm like, this is of course, this is my full-time job, but I'm also a full-time mom. So, like my boundary being broken of out of office hours, receiving a late night text message, things like that. Yeah, that's an ick. That's an ick for me. For sure. It doesn't happen so often anymore. So I'm like, I I am proud to say that because years ago it was an issue and a stress point, but it it has gotten better. I think the I didn't even have it on my list, but on the Reddit list, but she'll fix it in Photoshop. That one, that's my number one, I think. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:59

Like I won't. I think having another ick, and I'll make this my last one. I think I think um my last ick is probably um having to say per the contract, per my contract that you signed. Oh yeah, having to like double down on a contract, which is great. You have to have a good contract. Um it saves you and the couple at the end of the day. Like, as far as like number of deliverables, which I always that's an example. We we be sending more than we say we're going to. But yeah, as far as like when I should be eating at the reception and things like that.

SPEAKER_03 17:35

Yes. So no, that's a good one. And I'm like, unfortunately, I feel like this episode could go on forever because we could continue to think of them. But we love our jobs. No, we love our jobs. We love our jobs. Any job. Everyone has no, every I was just about to say, every single job has icks. Everyone and all the photographers everywhere just nodded their heads throughout what we said because that is what it is. But this was our therapy session. Yes, it was. And that's the job.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

And it's funny because we're actually working a wedding together tomorrow at the time that we're recording this.

SPEAKER_03 18:04

Tomorrow. I'll be like writing more down. No, but I'm like, I feel like the icks could easily turn into like kind of more so stories, more stories, which I think needs to be an episode because we've seen a lot, we've done a lot, we've been a lot. These are giant production events that cost a bunch of money. And I've seen a lot. I've seen a lot. So I'm like, that is gonna, that's gonna be for next time. For next time. Until and we're like, until next time. Thank you for coming to our little therapy session. Just a fun little episode. Have a great weekend. Bye.

SPEAKER_00 18:37

Bye.